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Jan. 11th, 2017

[sticky post] [WELCOME ONE AND ALL]

Feb. 20th, 2017


Just caught Kaepora Gaebora!

Feb. 2nd, 2017


Wanted something witchy to wear for walking the Labyrinth :)

Jan. 28th, 2017


If hubby and I destroy each others inner peace.... :/
I think we set the record for being able to start fighting almost the moment wake up :/
I can't think of a damn person no matter how passive that wouldn't think 'wow you guys...... 7am and already fighting before anyone goes out the door for the day.... who the fuck are you people....'
I just need to step my game up hardcore.
I'm just getting tired of this life I think and want to go on to other things that life can offer me.
I think I'm starting to really realize this Rescue thing isn't for me anymore and isn't my passion.
Maybe at one point it was when I didn't think I could do anything with myself.
Nothing I can do about it now though.
Pets are a lifetime commitment.
Had another death in the family and sadly fell on a day I had a concert planned....
Needless to say, I was unable to go and had to sell the tickets....
The damn treatments to figure out what was going on ran us into the ground $1,000+ total, only to find out there's nothing we can do and to just put her down.
And he says he'd like to go on trips and stuff.
Well I don't think we'll be doing shit with the hell we have to put up with here.
I could have went to the concert and had an amazing time.
I could fucking leave the house for once and not worry about anything.
It would save him alot of emotional trauma too cause everytime he goes through it he's a total wreck and I always end up looking like the unemotional fuck, but if we both fall apart nothing will get done.
I kind of also just let the process of life do it's thing cause you can't stop it anyway.
I halfway don't want to do my dream idea of being a travelling artist now cause I had the thought of 'well what if this shit happens during one of my shows; I'll have to leave early or not be able to show up at all and then all the money I threw down on this is fucking wasted' and I REFUSE to let that happen.
Hundreds of dollars for a booth plus income and networking is not something I would like wasted....
We're going to go our separate ways if this is mentioned I just know it.
My life is just being taken away from me by outside forces and I'm getting really fucking tired of it....

Jan. 22nd, 2017


Jan. 18th, 2017



- Got a quote for the Compass tattoo, and it's going to run me $100-120, so I decided to hold off for now and get it hopefully on my birthday, but gives me motivation in the meantime to save money so I can do something like that and not have it set me back a million steps financially

- Hubby is concerned about income since he's kinda the only one supporting the family currently, and I feel for him and understand the concern; but on the other hand I think 'good that the tables have turned on you cause now you know my fear that I had to put up with for 10 years'

- The year is starting out interesting but I think it'll still be ok

- Possibly need to sell one of the concert tickets I got since I think hubby has work during the time the concert is happening so I don't think he'll be going.
Yay more money for a shirt after!
Chances are I'll be going alone since I don't really want to get a FB account again to track someone down to go with only to split ways again, and all the people that I do have either don't really care about The Doors or are too old to withstand a concert like that.
Anyone in Arizona want to see Robby Krieger, guitarist of The Doors on Saturday?....

-I want coffee since I don't think going back to sleep for two hours only to get up again is advised since the 'kids' will probably just keep me awake with their noises and running around the house anyway so it would be a vain attempt in the end

Jan. 17th, 2017



Today I take The Beatles off the pedestal of which I had once put them on long ago.
I think if anything I just probably need to process and accept what I have learned.

- They never really liked each other
- When you hear lead guitar on most of the songs, it's not George Harrison playing....
It's Paul McCartney....
- George Harrison was sure he and or them were going to die everyday since day 1 and the fear even lasted long after the group disbanded.
The man hid everywhere he could get his hands on.
- They dissed each other via song on their solo albums

So much more....

Jan. 14th, 2017


It all ended up being with no tattoo, of which I will now be on a hunt to get it done; but I was randomly given cookies, and all the people hanging out outside the tattoo parlor went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck when it came by including myself, which I thought was absolutely hilarious.
And no dealings with bs at home!
I expected it to be unreasonably priced but all treats was $1.50!
Then went to Labyrinth and did a special Releasing ritual for any negativity in the month which was fun to do with the group.
Was tempted to go to a 24 hour tattoo place afterwards but decided against it due to already being midnight and a pet care visit at noon the next day and had to get up a couple hours before etc.

This is what I'm after.
Meaning to me is, should I ever stray mentally and behaviorwise (going dark), I always really know how to get home, and that I have just forgotten in the midst of the darkness, and just need a little visual reminder to set me back on course.
Maybe it'll prevent some things too.
It's also a past life thing.
I believe I was a sailor WAY back in the day and I got the tattoo for protection and safe arrival.

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